Looking at my life right now, I couldn't be any happier having my beautiful baby with me. But sometimes, I wonder what would have been happening with me right now, at this moment, if I didn't have a baby.
Thinking about it, I'd still be back at Palmerston North where my university is. I'd still be studying my course and trying to pass every paper I am taking.I'd still be having fun with my friends. We'd be doing our regular food trips and try out every restaurant there is in town, go to parties and celebrate whenever there's something to celebrate. I probably won't be at this same relationship. I probably had the courage to let go of everything that is not for me. I probably could go anywhere I want and whenever I want. I'd be able to explore places I haven't been. I'd be able to shop and save for myself and do whatever I wanted to. I'd be able to sleep in every weekend and I could do whatever I want to do.
I probably do want it back whenever I think about it but then again, I wouldn't be this happy if she's not here with me. Even though my relationship with my partner isn't at it's best, we're trying to work on it. Sure, it's tiring and stressful and a lot of work but in the end, it pays off. Whenever I see her smile and laugh, I always forget my problems and my tiredness. Even if I'd get less sleep, as long as I know that she's safe, I'm already satisfied.
There are downfalls in life, we all know that but there are also happiness. Happiness which comes in different ways. You just need to open your eyes and notice the things around you so that you won't miss it. If someone would ask me whether I'd want my life back or not, I'd say no. I still choose this life I have right now. This is my happiness and I wouldn't miss it for the world.